I don’t do this enough — sit in front of my laptop and just reflect and write. I feel like I’m always saying that but I don’t do anything about it. Well, I guess just typing this out is a start.
What happened in 2023? I feel like so much and so little has happened and I can’t even answer that question off the top of my head, so I’m going to break it down month by month and scroll through my phone gallery and social media archives to help me answer that question.
Before I go into detail about how my year went, I’d like to summarise it by saying that it’s been great. I’ve been doing a lot more, and I’ve been more focused on the future instead of just the present. I know I said I don’t really believe in New Years’ Resolutions, but my goal this year is to be more disciplined in everything I’m doing, be it for work, relationships or personal growth.
One thing I realised this year was how much I missed the things that I thought would always be. I took everything for granted because I never thought about how one day my life would be completely different, surrounded by completely different people doing completely different things.
Nothing much has changed between 2022 and 2023 but when I think about how I was like 5, 10, even 15 years ago, I never thought that one day, I would never see some of the people I saw every day in the classroom again. That spending a normal day with my best friend hanging out by the swimming pool would be our last. That I would no longer be lugging my bag full of books and files on a 15-minute walk to school and grabbing a bottle of Starbucks coffee on the way while listening to Bring Me the Horizon. That I would never be sitting on the front seat of my Dad’s Camry listening to his stupid jokes again. I didn’t even think about how it was going to be the last time I was going to wear my school uniform. Or even spacing out drunkenly in the club lights with music blasting in the background. The last time I went for a cheerleading training. The last time I would cry outside my ex’s house (wow was it a regular occurrence). Last dates, last conversations, last everythings.
When I realised this, I treasured everything and being in the present more. Instead of only focusing on the big events, I’m also acknowledging the small, daily part of my life where I sit on the train going to work, sit in front of my desk holding a tablet and stare at Photoshop canvases.
Climb
I started regularly bouldering again and it’s been so beneficial in many ways, not just physically. I used to do it before, but I was never as dedicated to it as I am now. It was just “something to do”. Now, it’s a part of my regular weekly routine to schedule evenings with friends to go climbing.
There’s something about climbing up walls and getting better at it that just builds confidence. I also love that I get to do it with Gerald, Jace and my friends. It’s a great and healthy activity and a good excuse to meet up. It’s also probably the biggest reason why I see my friends a lot more regularly than in previous years. It’s a wholesome activity overall, though sometimes it can get frustrating when you can’t climb as well as you expect.
Weekend Nights
I never expected that I would take up a nightlife job again, let alone do it regularly every week for a whole year. When I did it in 2016, I could only tolerate doing it for 3 months because it was so toxic for my mental and physical health. I blamed it for turning me into an alcoholic zombie and the only thing that kept me going was making money.
Now, it’s not much different besides the fact that I’m older and I don’t actually have to drink and socialise with guests on the job. I love the fact that the only thing I have to do is look pretty and bring out the bottles. I make it sound so easy but the reality is that bottles and props can be heavy and it’s not fun getting home at 5am after being awake for 18 hours. Still, it’s a lot better now compared to what I had to do 6 years prior. One day, I won’t be young and pretty enough to be able to do a job like this HAHA.
Working with others from all walks and different stages of their lives is also interesting and insightful. Some nights are crazy busy, with no time to sit and chat. On other nights, we are closer and have either wild oversharing topics or just small talk about what we’re doing with our lives. Either way, I’m really grateful for all the new people I’ve met and got closer with.
Crazy
Day job has been greaaaaatttt.
Okay, in all seriousness, it’s been a good year. I think I’m just not writing much about it because it’s all been covered in my yearly review. To summarise, I’ve improved a lot, and I’ve achieved a lot of the goals that I set such as expanding my skill set and being able to use that to get opportunities to fly overseas! I’ve been really consistent and passionate with the work that I put out and I am glad that it is recognised.
I find that it’s rare nowadays for people to be satisfied with their full-time jobs, so I’m glad that I can continue to have the opportunity to be able to work at a place that also shares the same values that I do.
Work-life balance has also tremendously improved. It’s not that they make me work overtime, but I used to be so stressed and affected by work that it leaked into my energy outside of working hours. It’s a completely personal thing and not at all the fault of my bosses and managers. I’m just glad that I have been able to separate myself from just being a corporate slave to having my own life outside of work.
Passion
That being said, because my position as a Graphic Designer is in-house, the work that I do is rather monotonous — with the same subjects and the same design. So Gerald had this brilliant idea to properly start freelancing together where he can do videos and I can do design for small brands and people who need it! That way, we can continue expanding out skills and creativity by working on other subjects and topics instead of just doing the same thing again and again.
Sure, there are benefits to repetitive work, but as a creative, it does get boring over time. Being able to use my job skills on other things (and get paid for it!) will definitely be good for it! Website coming soon!
Family
Another thing I’ve learned is how I have it good with my family. Others aren’t as fortunate as I am to have healthy relationships with their family. This year, I fully realised how important family is, spending time with them, getting to know them and just being grateful for their presence.
Jace is growing up so fast, and I can’t believe that in 2 months, it will be a whole decade since he entered my life. I always tell people how grateful I am that he’s so easy to take care of. People tell me that I’m doing such an amazing job raising him, but I truly feel that it’s because he makes it easy to raise him. He’s really the best and I can’t ask for anything more.
People find it unusual that I still keep a close relationship with his father and in-laws despite being divorced — having family gatherings, birthdays, Chinese New Year and Christmas together, even with our new respective partners. I love it though, and I love our big family.
I think I will always carry some guilt about not being able to give Jace a “normal”, nuclear family, but with the way everything is now, he has so many people who love him and I hope that it’s enough to never make him feel like he’s missing out on that.
Highlights
That sums up the small things — now it’s time for the big ones! My best friend got married, I went to Sri Lanka for work, and Gerald and I finally applied and got a queue number to get our own house! Those are the big things I can list off the top of my head. I think I can save all the details for other posts though.
All in all, it’s been a good year and I am looking forward to the next one!
Thanks for reading! xx Jess
through my eyes 